Ah balloons my old nemesis!! This is the first of many hurtles I must face. I have had a pants wetting fear of balloons since childhood. Many a cousin, brother and stupid head ex-boyfriends have tortured me with them. Most people when learning of this fear of mine, laugh then go on to make jokes about it, “how can you be afraid of a balloon?” Well I tell ya, I am.
The panic attacks from them started around my sixth birthday. The previous year I had procedures that helped to correct some hearing loss. I wasn’t deaf, (so I thought) but my mom and some silly hearing test said I had issues.So off to the doctors then the hospital.
I FINALLY was able to come home, then after a bout with the chicken pox, was able to go back to school. Well, when I got back to school of course they had a welcome back party…..with balloons. I remember hearing the sounds of the kids playing with them…then…the first “POP”!! Scared the snot out of me!!!
Of course when the kids witnessed my reaction…..the chase began!!! The story of that reaction….traveled home….then everyone knew about it. So, at my sixth birthday party…….there was another chase….pants wetting…etc. I have never been able to really enjoy balloons since.
I read somewhere in the self help world that looms out there on the internet, and according to many self help books, a therapist , and of course my mom ….that acknowledgement and identifying a fear can lead to overcoming it, or at least to live with it.
I am a Nanny of a two year old.
Two year old little “cuteness happening” girls, do not read blogs. She is one of many reasons I must face this demon. A screaming and pants wetting Nanny…can really scare little girls.Not only will that transmit the fear of balloon to her, but also…..screaming pants wetting Nannies.
I have been blessed to share in the care of this precious child, she is a delight to all that knows her. But, she’s two and is potty training and her reward for a successful “pee pee ” in the potty is a choice between stickers and a balloon. I must admit, at first I kind of…nudged her, rather guided her toward the sticker choice. I know….(bad bad Nanny)!
This went on for…ummm I would say two weeks. I went into work one morning ( I wouldn’t call it work cuz I have way more fun), and balloons had…whew…. looked liked the balloons gave birth like rabbits!!! And….”Cuteness Happening” looks up at me, with a balloon in her hand and says “LLLLOOOKKKK!!! I pee pee in the POTTY!” I for all the love in my heart for her… did not faint, break out in a cold sweat nor did I scream or wet my pants. Miracle DO happen!!! She then took me by my hand and lead me to her “CLUBHOUSE” and there behold….a house of horrors(((balloons))) everywhere!! Then this angel help me to really address my fear by saying “play with me Miss Paige” and I did. I blew up my first balloon since childhood.
I believe god sent this child into my life for a reason. She reminds me the simple joys of life, how to experience things with new and different eyes, that I’ve forgotten I had. When I blew up that balloon, and yes I was shaking, but cuteness held my hand….ok….(crying now) and we played with that balloon for about an hour, then it joined its brothers and sisters in the clubhouse.
I can’t say that I am over the fear of balloons, but I do know that I can live with them now without the terror!
It is still a work in progress and a step closer to unlocking the lioness within and earning that metal!
I’m afraid there’s no denyin’ / I’m just a dandy-lion / A fate I don’t deserve / I’m sure I could show my prowess / Be a lion, not a mouse / If I only had the nerve.
Cowardly Lion From the Wizard of Oz
The Cowardly Lioness 